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From The Times

June 30, 2007

Skylon

Perhaps = it=E2=80=99s wrong to=20 assume that all former head girls carry into adult life the qualities = that=20 brought them so gleamingly to the attention of their teachers

Giles Coren

I don=E2=80=99t know if your girlfriend was ever head girl of her = school. The odds=20 are she wasn=E2=80=99t. But if she was, then I wonder if, perhaps, she = expects even now=20 to get her way a little more often than just half of the time.

Perhaps she doesn=E2=80=99t. Perhaps it=E2=80=99s wrong to assume = that all former head girls=20 carry into adult life the qualities that brought them so gleamingly to = the=20 attention of their teachers =E2=80=93 qualities of probity, honesty, a = ruthless=20 commitment to the upholding of authority and a voice which, when raised, = can=20 make lions and tigers retreat whimpering into a corner.

Perhaps it is only girls who were =E2=80=9CCaptain of the = School=E2=80=9D in a predominantly=20 boys=E2=80=99 establishment. Who arrived in the sixth form, at a place = where they were=20 outnumbered ten to one, and within a year were running the joint.

Because that is what Rachel was. Worse still, the school of which she = was=20 captain was my school. The same establishment that would not let me go = for a wee=20 without an armed escort chose to give Rachel local powers of almost = medieval=20 absoluteness, and created in her an expectation of respect for her = authority=20 which persists to this day.

Nor does it seem to make a jot of difference to our power relations = that she=20 arrived at the place 12 years after I left =E2=80=93 was not even born = when I first=20 miserably hoiked my tuck box up the stairs, took off my cap, and = squeaked,=20 =E2=80=9CCoren, sir, Coren G, reporting for loneliness, beatings and = sodomy.=E2=80=9D

Take restaurants (since that is what we are here for): if = it=E2=80=99s a work night=20 (for her) then we don=E2=80=99t drink and are out by 9.30 no matter = what. If my food=20 arrives looking nicer than hers, we swap. If she thinks the waiter has = given her=20 a funny look, we leave, no matter what stage of the meal we have = reached. And if=20 it=E2=80=99s Monday evening, we swim 60 lengths at the County Hall gym = and then go to=20 Wagamama on the South Bank.

Wagamama is all right. In winter, I rather look forward to my large = bowl of=20 noodles in soup served by multiply-perforated staff who scribble in Biro = on the=20 place mats. But every Monday for nearly two years? You=E2=80=99d think = one could=20 occasionally try somewhere else, wouldn=E2=80=99t you? Well, you tell = her.

Occasionally somewhere new opens local to the pool (including three=20 restaurants that have opened recently in County Hall itself) and I = suggest we go=20 there so I can review it.

=E2=80=9CWhat, instead of Wagamama?=E2=80=9D says Rachel, giving me a = stare so hard it would=20 melt Paddington=E2=80=99s little glass eyes off.

It=E2=80=99s extraordinary. Whatever dazzling new place opens, = whatever Gordon Ramsay=20 gastrodome or Hakkasan II, or new scoff palace from the Ivy group I try = to take=20 her to, she always says, =E2=80=9CI=E2=80=99d rather go to = Wagamama.=E2=80=9D

And, because Rach was head girl, we go to Wagamama. Indeed, for every = glamorous meal you read about here, I have had to eat at least three = Wagamamas.=20 So, for example, when Skylon opened the other day in the newly redone = Festival=20 Hall (which Rachel will tell you is easy to find, as it is behind = Wagamama) and=20 I suggested we go after swimming, she said, =E2=80=9CWhat, instead of = Wagamama?=E2=80=9D and I=20 said, yes, instead of Wagamama. Just this once.

She protested that it looked expensive, as she does any restaurant = that is=20 not Wagamama, regardless of the fact that The Times would pay if we went = to=20 Skylon, so it would be free, as opposed to =C2=A39 each. But = Rachel=E2=80=99s point is moral,=20 not financial. She hates to eat in an expensive place if she knows there = is a=20 Wagamama within an hour=E2=80=99s walk, regardless of who=E2=80=99s = paying.

So we didn=E2=80=99t go to Skylon, we went to Wagamama. And very nice = it was, too.=20

Noodles in soup, I believe I had. But then, on Thursday, we went = swimming=20 again. Not our usual day. The week nearing its end, my copy due, and = Skylon=20 waving its hand in the air nearby, saying, =E2=80=9CMe, sir, please, = sir, me, sir!=E2=80=9D

So I thought I would try again.

=E2=80=9CDo you think,=E2=80=9D I asked Rachel, as we surfaced = between lengths 48 and 49, =E2=80=9Cas=20 it=E2=80=99s a Thursday,=E2=80=9D and we both went into the inverted = side-stroke formation that=20 we use when serious matters have to be discussed while swimming, = =E2=80=9CWe could not=20 go to Wagamama, and go instead to =E2=80=93=E2=80=9D

But Rachel had dived. Went down like a dolphin after a herring. = Snapped the=20 periscope shut and shouted, =E2=80=9CDive! Dive! Dive!=E2=80=9D She = didn=E2=80=99t want to hear.

But in the end she did let us go to Skylon, as long as we were quick. = And we=20 were. So quick, in fact, that I forgot to have a look at the newly = redone=20 Festival Hall. Not that I would have had much to say about it, never = having been=20 inside the old Festival Hall.

But Rachel says that Skylon is much better looking than the = restaurant that=20 was here before (The People=E2=80=99s Palace, she says it was called), = where she ate=20 many times because her family, unlike mine, are into classical music. = That=E2=80=99s the=20 sort of thing the families of head girls are into. Her parents took her = to=20 church and the ballet and extracurricular military training for small = girls;=20 mine took me with them to work and left me to read newspapers in the = smoking=20 room, and also to football matches and the odd Dalek hunt.

Skylon is owned by D&D, which is what used to be Conran = restaurants, and=20 there is a nice symmetry, I gather, in Sir Terence having begun life as = a barrow=20 boy selling knock-off lamps or something at the Festival of Britain in = 1951, in=20 the very shadow of the original Skylon (a 300ft temporary installation), = after=20 which this joint is named.

It would thus be wrong to describe the space as = =E2=80=9CConranny=E2=80=9D. We must now,=20 rather, call it =E2=80=9CD&Dy=E2=80=9D. And it is fair to say that = Skylon looks rather=20 classier than =E2=80=93 but not generically very different from = =E2=80=93 the kind of swanky=20 brasseries one gets in these sorts of places nowadays.

Being in a hurry, we ate in the grill, which occupies one end of the=20 hangar-sized space. Skylon=E2=80=99s =E2=80=9Cfine-dining=E2=80=9D room = being at the other, with a bar=20 in between, and the great brown river magnificently present on the other = side of=20 the biggest window I have ever seen.

I dare say that the posh restaurant benefits more from the expertise = of=20 executive chef Helena Puolakka, who arrives with a decent track record = (Sonny=E2=80=99s,=20 La Tante Claire, Harvey Nichols=E2=80=99 Fifth Floor), but I can never = get all that=20 excited about =E2=80=9Cexecutive=E2=80=9D chefs, and bedtime was roaring = towards us=20 relentlessly.

From a menu of upscale brasserie standards Rach had an excellent, = summery pea=20 soup and I had =E2=80=9CEmpress eggs=E2=80=9D, which were duck-egg = mayonnaise with a blob of=20 pressed caviar. Then a very good crab risotto made not with rice but = with spelt=20 from Sharpham Park =E2=80=93 offering a nuttier flavour than rice, and a = much lower=20 glycaemic load. But I think =C2=A315.50 is pushing it a bit for a = risotto, as was=20 =C2=A318.50 for a nice piece of roast halibut, especially seeing as = minuscule sides=20 of broccoli and green beans were a quite crazy =C2=A33.50 each.

There was home-cured organic salmon, asparagus from Secretts Farm = with=20 poached egg and hollandaise, roast organic poussin and a lovely freshly = made=20 orange and raspberry juice. They use great ingredients here, and you = have to pay=20 for that, but the prices for these well-made brasserie standards are = still=20 pretty startling.

Skylon may well end up a destination joint for out-of-towners = (Londoners will=20 find better value nearer home and already know what the Thames looks = like), and=20 it is certainly useful if you=E2=80=99re going for the music. Which I = won=E2=80=99t be, of=20 course. Unless the head girl tells me to.

Skylon

Royal Festival Hall, SE1

(020-7654 7800)

Meat/fish: 8

Cooking: 6

Value: 4

Water: 10

Score: 7

Price: we paid =C2=A370.65 for two, with no alcohol, coffee or = pudding

Reeves Restaurant

20-22 High Street, Dunster, Somerset (01643 821414)

Mike Bowden writes: =E2=80=9CJustin and Claire Reeves have opened a = splendid=20 restaurant in this medieval village near the north coast of Somerset. =

Olives, canap=C3=A9s, delicious bread and a carafe of iced water all = appear on the=20 table without charge. My lady comes from Hamburg and she found her = fillet of=20 brill with Exmouth mussels, simmered in a creamy leek and saffron sauce = and=20 finished with a dash of Pernod, as good as she could have found anywhere = in that=20 city-state of seafood-lovers."

Meat/fish: 10

Cooking: 10

Service: 10

Score: 10

Water: 10

E-mail feedme2@thetimes.co.uk if=20 you know somewhere good, and maybe we=E2=80=99ll go there together =

Have=20 your say

My friends and I went to SkyLon and = were=20 really underwhelmed, partly as we were at the back of the restaurant. I=20 certainly wouldnt reccomend it. Having said that, I was hammered.

Tom, London,

i have been very underwhelmed by the = new=20 restaurants on the thames side of the southbank- being half-japanese i = may be=20 biased, but the wagamama yakisoba was so stodgy and salty it might well = have=20 been cooked in the thames water outside. As for giraffe- all excitement = has gone=20 into the decor -don't go for the burito with its watered down heinz soup = like=20 sauce or the green curry, unless you have a gaping hole and you don't = care how=20 you fill it.

btw giles. get a room.

sigmunt, london,

"Wagamama" means "Selfish" . Go = figure.=20
Matt
p.s. Giles, you're a great writer and plainly besotted with = your=20 bird, but lauding her achievements constantly is getting old, fast.

MATT MOFFAT, Singapore , Singapore

Ah, nothing like a grown man = undeniably=20 whipped... It is cute in a way. Mostly scary for us single bachelors, = but=20 perhaps cute too.

Out of curiosity, has Giles ever actually = reviewed=20 Wagamama?

Mangald, Bombay,

Giles, my dear fellow, after the = things you=20 have voiced about Rachel I would not be surprised if you are denied her = amorous=20 "favours" for a week or two. Have fun in your celibacy - albeit enforced = by your=20 ungallant opinionating on the blameless(?) Rachel.

Timothy C. Wingate, OTTAWA, CANADA

A price of =C3=82=C2=A370 for two = for seemingly average=20 food, no alcohol, coffee or pudding is definitely immoral.

Fred, london,

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Skylon

Perhaps = it=E2=80=99s wrong to=20 assume that all former head girls carry into adult life the qualities = that=20 brought them so gleamingly to the attention of their teachers

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